In Friday’s class, we expand binomials into gasps—

meaning we calculate trajectories of moving objects

& analyze the chances of touching death,

then living instead. The numbers, small scribbles,

weigh heavy like lead & I wonder why they cannot

be swallowed. Our bodies are nestled together

in the classroom corner: doors locked, lights killed,

hearts pulsing. The girl beside me has been chased

too many times by wailing alarms. She remembers

code red better than the formula for volume.

Our heads are all bent in shame, tucked below desks

to wait for a bedtime story. Sometimes we are afraid

of being lost to bullet holes. We are afraid of our voices

becoming static under the hold of a trigger. We are

afraid that our parents will see us one day on television:

limbs heaped over each other, syrup-drenched, becoming pixels

that flit across the screen. My mother wonders whether she was right

to cross the seas. She knows that brown bodies in the news

are more often dead than alive. An announcement washes

over the school: the drill is over, we are free to return

to normal learning. We freeze, wary of every promise

of safety. This is how we have been taught. We

are afraid that our nightmares will come true before

our dreams. We are afraid of addition: body + bullet.

Uma Menon is a seventeen-year-old author from Winter Park, Florida. Her debut book, Hands for Language, was released by Mawenzi House in 2020. She is the 2019-2020 Youth Fellow for the International Human Rights Art Festival and attends Princeton University. Read more at theumamenon.com.

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