Confession wasn’t what I imagined: I didn’t kneel
before the shadowed priest. We met behind the sanctuary
in the room where they stored unused candles,
extra robes. Backstage is the word I kept thinking.
The priest gave a blessing, then I opened my notebook
and read everything I’d done out loud. Twenty-six years,
seven damning pages. He told me to destroy them,
to say a single Hail Mary as penance. I went out
and sat down in a pew. I said my prayer so slowly,
then there was nothing left to do. Is this how you felt
when the Lord said go, and sin no more? Did you want
something like those stones? There was still light
outside, a dim glow in the stained-glass windows.
I’m forgiven now, I said, and I tried very hard to feel it.