Those of you inclined to think of us Californians as Pinot-Noir-sipping, baby-radicchio-with-a-port wine-vinagrette-eating, Green-Party-voting-fifth-columnists-for-Al Qaeda ought to hightail it out to Mariposa County, CA. Known nationwide as the home of the beautiful Yosemite Valley, I'm sure that it is only a matter of time before Mariposa is seen as the the launching pad for the next great trend in Christian Youth Ministry: Paintball for Jesus!
This is a mountain town wherethere's a Bible verse painted over a pizza parlor door and a localpolitician keeps a cardboard cutout of John Wayne holding a Winchesterrifle in his office as proof of fealty to the NRA.
But a proposal to bring "Paintball for Jesus" to public land has some people riled.
"I'm sorry, maybe I'm missing something in my upbringing as aMethodist, but Paintball for Jesus? God help us all. Seriously, thisteaches bad habits of shooting each other," said Mariposa CountySupervisor Brad Aborn, 71, the John Wayne fan who is a former VietnamWar Navy helicopter pilot.
Church youth leader Jeff Tomerlin contends, however, that paintball is the perfect ministry.
His church, New Life Christian Fellowship, wants to play paintball on 15 acres of county land.
"I really wanted to do something for the youth where they could seegodly adults acting as mentors. We thought about going the skateboardroute, but none of us are skateboarders," said Tomerlin, 45.
After church on the third Sunday of every month, a group of teens andadults from New Life cook up a big meal of hot dogs, give testimoniesabout Jesus in their life, suit up in camouflage and grab donatedpaint-shooting guns ("markers" in paintball terms).
They have affectionately nicknamed their paintball and Jesus games PBJ.
Now as someone who spent his teenage years in a group that dressed up in medieval armour and bashed each other's brains out with large hunks of rattan wrapped in duct tape, I'm hardly one to be pulling the mote out of my brother's eye on this one. But I'll admit that I am probably among those who, in the words of the author of the article, "recoil at linking the Prince of Peace with packing heat." Still, I see a little commerical opportunity here to write a new ditty to the tune of "Drop Kick Me Jesus."
Paintball me Jesus through the battlefield of life!
Cover me as I dodge from the left to the right!
I thrill to splatter my brothers in Christ!
Paintball me Jesus through the battlefield of life!
